


You know it’s not the end, we’ll fall in love again, cause we were built in dreams of gold

by Toomanyfandoms99



Series: Supernatural Season 15 Codas [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coda, Drama, Episode: s15e08 Our Father Who Aren't In Heaven, Fluff and Angst, Leviathan - Freeform, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e08 Our Father Who Aren't in Heaven, Purgatory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 11:27:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21848905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toomanyfandoms99/pseuds/Toomanyfandoms99
Summary: “Wait!”  Dean exclaims, the word jumping out of his throat.  He rushes out of the room, turning his back to the portal.  He rounds the doorway and says, “hang on, Cas!”Castiel turns before he can round the first corner.  His eyes are burning with blue fire, and Dean realizes this is the first time they’ve looked into each other’s eyes for weeks and weeks.Dean feels his body burning, and he swallows thickly, halting in his tracks.“Y-you...you can’t do this,” Dean says after a quick shock, “let me.”
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Supernatural Season 15 Codas [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1517966
Comments: 4
Kudos: 87





	You know it’s not the end, we’ll fall in love again, cause we were built in dreams of gold

**Author's Note:**

> The title was taken from the song “Save Room For Us” by Tinashe.
> 
> Here’s my entry into the Purgatory 2.0 drama.

Castiel immediately turns around and walks out of the room, the gate into Purgatory gleaming gold.

Dean’s gaze follows him, and his eyes narrow. “Where are you goin’?”

Castiel doesn’t so much as look over his shoulder as he replies, “to get weapons and medical supplies.”

His voice echoes in the hallway as his figure disappears into shadow. Dean purses his lips and clenches his teeth.

He hates when Cas is right.

But a sudden realization smacks Dean across the face.

Cas can’t go with him. It wasn’t an option.

“Wait!” Dean exclaims, the word jumping out of his throat. He rushes out of the room, turning his back to the portal. He rounds the doorway and says, “hang on, Cas!”

Castiel turns before he can round the first corner. His eyes are burning with blue fire, and Dean realizes this is the first time they’ve looked into each other’s eyes for weeks and weeks.

Dean feels his body burning, and he swallows thickly, halting in his tracks.

“Y-you...you can’t do this,” Dean says after a quick shock, “let me.”

“If you want to come,” Castiel whirled around and continued on to his bedroom, “just say it already.”

“Wait!” Dean follows him and grabs his shoulder.

Castiel shoots him a dirty look. “Wait for what? The clock is ticking.”

“Cas,” Dean breathes, “we need to think about this. The last time we went into Purgatory, I thought you were dead. You were lost for months, and I don’t want that to happen again.”

Castiel blinks once. “Funny,” he scoffs, “you almost sounded like you cared.”

He goes to his room, and Dean doesn’t stop him. Heart in his throat, he follows to the doorway. He peers inside the bare bedroom that he’s never seen and watches Castiel pull a duffel bag from the closet. He stays inside the closet for a long time, and Dean glances at Castiel removing a false backing from the wall. A cache of weapons is revealed, and Dean gapes.

“Okay,” Dean says, “that’s a good one, Cas. Nice.”

Castiel doesn’t look at him as he stuffs two of everything inside the duffel bag. He goes into a desk drawer, the surface adorned with photographs and keepsakes that Dean wishes he has time to study. Castiel digs inside the drawer and stuffs the bag with a packed medical kit and extra clothes. Dean catches sight of several old shirts that he lent to Castiel once upon a time, when he was human and Dean was a complete asshole for casting him out.

Castiel zips up the duffel bag and cast the strap around his shoulder. He doesn’t look at Dean as he walks towards him.

Their shoulders brush, and Dean craves more contact.

“Let’s go,” Castiel says gruffly. 

The order spurs Dean to follow. He studies the tightness to Castiel’s profile as he rounds the corner.

They enter the room, and the portal thrums with power. They would worry about where Michael went in Adam’s body later.

“Cas,” Dean says weakly, “are we really doing this again?”

Castiel wants to smite him with his gaze. “Yes,” he replies nonnegotiably.

Dean swallows thickly, and Castiel tilts his head. It is reminiscent of a time long past, and for a fleeting second, Dean forgets all their troubles.

He is snapped back to reality when Castiel says, “you can stay and guard the bunker, if you prefer.”

Dean shakes his head. “I’m not leaving you. Just hang on.”

He pulls out his smartphone and texts Sam. He does not expect a reply, but Sam should know what he’s doing.

Dean waits for the text to send before looking up at Castiel. He is staring.

‘I’m not leaving you’ echoes in Dean’s mind. His heartbeat pounds against his collarbone. He swallows a lump in his throat.

“Let’s get that blossom and get out,” Dean says.

Castiel nods and steps inside the portal. Dean pockets his phone and follows.

————

Dean wakes up alone.

He is in a bed of moss and twigs. The sound of monster growls is off to the left, and he jolts up.

He is in the middle of the woods. The place where he killed countless Leviathans.

Purgatory has changed, though. It never used to be so...colorful.

It is no longer black and white. It is sepia.

The growls grow louder, and Dean scatters away from the open field. He is on his feet and hiding behind a tree trunk on instinct. 

He exhales as three Leviathan pass by.

He has no weapons. Nothing. 

Dean would have to get crafty.

————

Castiel wakes near a familiar lake.

The smell of mud and blood is fresh in the air, and he sits up. He grabs the duffel bag handle and looks around with calculating eyes.

This is where Dean found him. But Dean is not here now.

He stands up and casts the bag over his shoulder. He trains his ear to the trees all around him, but he hears nothing.

That’s not good.

That meant they were going for Dean.

Despite all that has happened between them, Castiel cannot leave Dean to fend for himself and die when he can prevent it.

Castiel stares up at the sepia sky and closes his eyes. He concentrates on his powers, and a celestial smoke signal is sent out.

He hears the growls when his eyes open, and he unzips the bag of weapons.

————

The growls get farther away from his position, and Dean knows it can only be one thing.

Castiel is going to sacrifice himself again for him.

It is not something that Dean will allow twice, no matter the rift in their relationship.

His goal is the same as before: find Castiel, pick those goddamn flowers, and get out.

Dean peels away loose bark from a tree trunk, his hands surely getting blisters. They prick his fingers with pain, but he ignores it. He has little time to waste.

————

The first monster to reveal themselves was no monster at all.

Castiel recognizes the vampire as the person by Dean’s side when he was found.

Nonetheless, he raises a machete.

Benny holds up his hands as he steps into the clearing. “Hold it, angel.” His lips curl back into a smile. “I’m friendly.”

“Not to me,” Castiel counters gruffly.

Benny stops walking and keeps his hands high. His boots crunch against the mossy floor. “Do you remember me?” He scoffs. “Cause I sure as hell remember you.”

“How flattering,” Castiel says dryly.

Benny chuckles, but there is a hint of worry in his eyes. “Only a fool would come back here,” he says.

“I need something,” Castiel says vaguely, machete glittering between them. “I’ll just be going.”

Castiel makes to advance, but Benny says, “hold up there, man. I can help.”

He wants to snort, but he begrudgingly realizes the vampire is right. Benny knows the terrain.

Castiel asks, “know anything about a blossom?”

Benny replies, “I know it. Passed it on the way to you, in fact.”

Castiel narrows his eyes suspiciously. The growls draw nearer by the moment.

Benny notices the sound and says, “you have serious guts, angel. Have a plan for them?”

Castiel purses his lips and pats the bag.

Benny snorts. “Alright, man. If that’s-”

His eyes widen. He has a realization.

“Ohhhh,” Benny breathes, “Dean is back too. You’re protecting him again!”

Castiel growls, “one more word out of you will test my patience.”

Benny holds his hands even higher, then falls silent. His eyes study Castiel carefully.

Castiel already knows what he’s going to say. Some quip about the two of them being in love.

But he can shove his quip right up his ass.

Benny says softly, “if I may, I...I can sense him.”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “I know his soul is bright. He is still far away.”

Benny knows something he doesn’t. He smirks.

“If you meet in the middle,” he says, “you’ll find the blossoms.”

Then, Benny steps back into the trees, towards the sound of approaching Leviathans.

Castiel runs.

————

Dean has sharpened bark into a stake by the time he realizes he couldn’t hear growls anymore.

Purgatory is eerily silent.

He looks around the space where he landed and listens closely.

One growl. From so far away that Dean almost doesn’t catch it.

He heads east. He knows it is risky to follow a monster, but he understands what’s happening.

They were going after Castiel.

And since Castiel is his way out, Dean has no choice but to follow.

————

Castiel falls into a trap faster than he expects.

It is a deep pit where Leviathan must trap and toy with prey. 

Castiel closes his eyes to concentrate, but his powers fail him.

“Oh,” a familiar Scottish’s woman voice coos, “I told you to fix it, not get trapped.”

Castiel squints his eyes, and a woman clad entirely in red stands over the pit.

“How are you here?” He asks confusedly. “You should be in Hell.”

“Purgatory has no rules,” Rowena says with a signature smirk. 

She snaps her fingers, and Castiel is yanked out of the pit by a dark force. He does not recognize it, but does not want to.

Another snap, and Rowena places an invisible barrier between the two of them. Her smirk lingers as Leviathan rush past them in hungry snarling blurs.

“You two are simply hopeless,” Rowena remarks with a sigh. “No wonder you got separated!”

“What do you mean?” Castiel asks confusedly. “There is a reason for that?”

“Oh, but of course!” Rowena shakes her head at him exasperatedly. “Purgatory is a reflection, dear. A reflection of your innermost feelings.”

Castiel steps back, mind reeling. “That cannot be true.”

“Well, believe it, honey,” Rowena trills. “Those pesky little Leviathan?” She gestures at him. “They are merely a reflection of the feelings you both suppress.”

Castiel clenches his jaw. “Please,” he scoffs.

Rowena stares at him. For a long moment.

“You believe that,” Rowena asks, “Dean does not feel the same way?”

“Obviously,” Castiel says dryly.

Rowena is genuinely baffled. “Well,” her hands rest on her hips, “you boys are more idiotic than I thought.”

“I think I’ll take my chances with the Leviathan,” Castiel says, preparing to step away from the protective barrier, thereby revealing himself.

Rowena huffs. “Tweetie pie,” she says sadly.

Castiel stays put at the tone of voice.

Does Rowena genuinely care?

Rowena says, “I don’t know what happened between you two, but Purgatory isn’t the best playground for such feelings.”

“What,” Castiel says haughtily, “you think I’m doing this? That I can control this? I can’t.”

“Of course you can’t,” Rowena says, “because it requires two united souls.”

Castiel closes his mouth and thinks. His head is spinning, because none of what Rowena is explaining makes sense.

“That’s why you were separated when you stepped through the portal,” Rowena says. “Purgatory is not the same for everyone. With that,” Rowena smirks, “profound bond,” Castiel rolls his eyes, “you both can share the same space. And if you both enter this space in the midst of a fight, well,” she shrugs, “you can see why Purgatory is a little haywire.”

Castiel cannot think about this anymore. It is too much.

“The blossoms,” Castiel asks, “where are they?”

Rowena smiles. “You already know that, darling.”

Something snags onto Castiel’s heart, and a rush of emotions swell in his chest. Heat flows to his cheeks.

Rowena notes his blush and says, “no need to thank me, dear.”

She snaps her fingers, and the barrier is gone, as are the Leviathan.

She disappears before his eyes, and Castiel advances.

He will follow his heart.

————

Dean closes his eyes once Castiel is not at the lake. He is so tired that he wants to sleep.

But he can’t. He needs to find Castiel.

And the weapons. But mostly Castiel.

He stares into the surface of the lake, scowling at how easily he blended into the elements. It used to bring him comfort, but now it only brought him conflict.

He looks down at the bark in his hand and his bloody fingers. His face felt dirty, and his heart weighed a hundred pounds.

Dean didn’t want to be a feral grunt anymore. The fact that he was fine with being a tool for so long sickened him.

But the things he did for Castiel…

They are worth the risk. No matter what, it is imperative they find each other and complete the task.

A sudden screech a half-mile away jolts Dean from his stupor, and his head snaps to the west.

That screech was cut off so abruptly that it resounds in Dean’s ears.

He walks in that direction and follows the echo.

-

And does not get very far before being stopped by Michael himself.

Since he is in Adam’s body, even in Purgatory, Dean does not tense up and flee. This original version of Michael is...almost agreeable.

“Huh,” Dean says, “thought you left.”

“I thought about it,” Michael admits, “but I cannot help sticking my nose where it does not belong.”

Dean snorts. “Where are the blossoms? You could’ve opened the portal a little closer. Grab ‘n go.”

“I did,” Michael exhales. “This is entirely you.” He glances up at the sepia sky. “Well, and Castiel.” His eyes blaze into Dean’s. “He’s very...fond of you.”

Dean blushes and scoffs, “not really.”

Michael hums. “Doesn’t seem that way at all. Not where I’m...and everyone else, for that matter...is standing.”

Dean feels violated, turned inside out. He doesn’t like it at all. Especially not from Michael.

The archangel seems to know this and placates, “the blossoms are nearby. You will both cross paths in the fields.”

“Gonna tell me which direction, feathers?” Dean quips.

Michael narrows his eyes, but they gleam upon recognizing humor. “Due west,” he replies. “It should take you right back to your,” his pause is deliberate, “friend.”

Dean blinks alarmedly as Michael flies away with little warning.

Does everyone but him know about his feelings for Cas?! Is he really that transparent?

Maybe to everyone except Castiel.

He will do what Rowena said in Hell. Fix it.

And follow his heart.

————

Castiel walks quietly, despite the monsters having disappeared due to Rowena’s intervention. 

He breaks the tree line, and gasps at a clearing.

Crimson blossoms bloom across the entire stretch of grass. It is the only bright color in Purgatory.

He advances past yellow grass and gray trees. He steps into the clearing, securing the weapons over his shoulder.

The rustling allows one last Leviathan to leap out of the trees, bowling Castiel over. They crush blossoms as Castiel rolls and grasps the fallen machete. He feels the Leviathan pinning him down, and he uses his angelic strength to push it off. It growls, shark teeth revealing a large tongue.

Castiel arches the machete, but the Leviathan is strong. He holds the blade an inch away from its neck.

Castiel kicks for leverage, and the Leviathan brushes back an inch. It is enough room.

He finishes the arc, and the machete hacks off the Leviathan’s head. It rolls off to the side, and thick oily blood spills onto Castiel’s face. It oozes down one cheek and streaks down his neck, the rest spilling onto his dress shirt and trench coat in massive puddles.

He exhales deeply, and tosses the headless body to the side. The Leviathan crushes and stains an entire patch of blossoms.

“Cas?!”

Footsteps rush towards him, the figure’s breath hitching.

Castiel coughs and places his palms flat on the grass. He pushes himself up and closes his eyes, taking a breath.

His soul is so bright here…

“Cas,” Dean breathes, crouching beside him, “are you okay?”

A hand cups Castiel’s cheek, and he forces his eyes to snap open. 

Dean is there, and he is so close that their breaths mingle. Castiel can make out the freckles dotting Dean’s cheeks and nose. He watches Dean’s plush lips part as both hands cradle his face gently. Frantic eyes swim in Castiel’s vision, green-gold pools darting across his face.

“Are you alright? Are you hurt? Did it get you?”

Castiel swallows a lump in his throat and shakes his head, groggy and dazed for no apparent reason. His voice tumbles out like sandpaper. “It’s not my blood.”

Dean exhales in bone-deep relief. His thumb dashes across Castiel’s jawline. “Oh, good. That’s good.”

Leviathan blood stains them both now, and Castiel feels a blister on Dean’s fingers.

Are his hands bleeding?

“Are you sure you’re not hurt?” Dean’s eyes rove over him. “You seem...tired.”

Castiel cannot help but bat his lashes and quip, “of course I am. Purgatory isn’t exactly a vacation.”

At the familiar sarcasm, Dean’s mouth quirks upwards on one side. Castiel wants to scowl at how angry he still is at Dean, but a realization stops him.

Dean is holding him. They have never been this close before. And Dean is caressing his face!

The weak part of Castiel doesn’t want to leave this space. Not ever. Not even if it’s Purgatory.

“So you found the blossoms,” Dean murmurs. “Good work, Cas. Sorry it took me so long.”

Castiel doesn’t breathe. Not for a few beats.

He exhales shallowly, “are you hurt? I can-”

“Don’t heal me,” Dean whispers, breath ghosting Castiel’s face. “Something is wrong with you.”

Castiel pinches his brows together, his mouth curling in offense.

“No,” Dean says forcefully, “not like that.” He turns away, muttering to himself, “goddammit, I need to think before I speak.”

Castiel squints his eyes. “Dean?”

Dean clears his throat, and nearly sends Castiel’s mind into a tailspin.

The way Dean’s looking at him right now…

Dean breathes, “your powers, Cas. I can see them failing. See you weakening.”

Castiel is completely thrown. His knee-jerk reply is an incredulous, “how? That’s impossible.”

“I don’t wanna question it,” Dean admits, his voice softening, “not right now. I don’t know what else to call the fading blue light in your chest, though.”

Castiel purses his lips and glances down. Blood stains his dress shirt and tie, in the exact space where his heart rests. He cannot see his own light.

Only Dean’s.

“Okay,” the absence of Dean’s warm hands on Castiel’s cheeks stings with coldness, “we need to get you up.”

Dean breaks the sacred bubble between them and rises to his feet slowly. His hands are offered, and Castiel takes them.

Castiel is suddenly an inch away from Dean, and he does not make to step back. Neither does Dean.

A slight pinch of color reaches Dean’s cheeks. They look each other in the eyes, and Castiel burns from the inside out.

“Cas,” Dean murmurs, “I don’t know how to fix everything between us. But I want to.”

Castiel replays Rowena’s words from Hell in his head, as well as their conversation in Purgatory.

Dean’s craving for contact proves Rowena speaks the truth. Dean wants him too.

But does Castiel want this? Does he want to risk it?

“Dean,” Castiel says, daring to take Dean’s hand, “I want to fix it too. But I don’t think I can…”

Dean stares down at their intertwined hands, then looks up when Castiel cannot find the words.

“What, Cas?” Dean asks gently.

Castiel wants to tell Dean exactly what he wants to hear. He wants to be that for Dean. 

But that’s not him anymore. He hasn’t been that in years.

He has made progress. He no longer needs Dean to be happy. He is fine on his own. 

And he doesn’t care if that disappoints Dean.

Castiel says, “I don’t think I can be what you want. Do what you want.” His lips curl upwards hesitantly. “I’m happy that you want to be with me,” he whispers, “but I don’t know if I have the strength to be rejected again.”

Dean looks down at their hands, then nods slowly. 

“I’m too late,” he declares. “I thought so.” He turns over their hands. “I’m sorry. So very sorry, Cas.”

“You didn’t know,” Castiel shrugs, “I can conceal my feelings well enough.”

“Don’t,” Dean sighs, “don’t act like I didn’t hurt you. I did. I know I hurt you more than I can comprehend. I know I can’t atone for that.” He brings their hands to his chest. “Can we please just trust one another again? Be friends? Be close like we used to? That is all I ask. Nothing more.”

Castiel is silent, processing his words. Dean beseeches him with his wide gaze. He looks at Castiel like he never has before. It is intoxicating, but Castiel does not give in.

“I think we’ve both learned that we need each other,” Castiel agrees, “so we should continue in our fight against Chuck.”

Dean nods in understanding. “You’re right. Of course you’re right.”

“Are you,” Castiel tilts his head, “alright with that?”

“Yes,” Dean smiles, “I’ll take what I can get.”

A whoosh resounds in the fields. Their heads snap towards the sound, hands falling away from each other.

The portal to Purgatory had moved to a few feet away from the blossoms. It thrums with energy and glows gold in the sepia-crimson palette.

It begins to shrink, millimeter by millimeter.

They gasp and look at each other. They nod and stoop to the ground. They pull Purgatory blossoms from their grass patches. They dirty their hands and Castiel zips open the duffel bag. They stuff it with messy stems and crimson petals. They are fast and completely synchronized while desecrating an entire patch of blossoms.

They rise to their feet, and Dean takes the bag this time. They send one final look to each other before Dean boldly offers a hand.

Castiel takes it, and they walk into the portal together.

-

They return inside the bunker to find it completely trashed.

Dean and Castiel stare at each other.

“Sam,” they say in unison.

————

Dean and Castiel enter the hotel room hideout armed to the teeth.

Chuck runs when he sees them, and they laugh.

They untie Sam and Eileen. Dean drives them all to the bunker.

Now that Dean and Castiel are united, there is no stopping them.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated!


End file.
